Fark quote

From Confabulat on Fark.com:

Good Republican Christians know there's "good science" and "bad science."

"Good science" is the stuff that makes life easier, like electricity, high-speed internet, leaf blowers, SUVs, satellite TV, and hairspray (judging from these pictures, anyway).

"Bad science" is the stuff that makes life worrisome, like evolution, climatology, geology, and ecology.

The value of the scientific method, to these individuals, only depends on whether it is capable of making them lazier and duller. If a scientific theory fails on those two levels, it is hated and rejected, in favor of fairy tales that allow dullness.

Much easier to deal with.

Jesus was a pussy.

Ok. So. Jesus was tortured, then crucified, and hung there in extreme pain and misery for three days because his Father loved us so much He was willing to give up His son (in extreme pain and misery) to save us from our sins, right?

And the point is both that God gave up His son, suffering mightily, and Jesus was crucified, suffering mightily, and that through these acts they have purged the world and offered everlasting life, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

1. God gives up His son. Well, God is omniscient and omnipotent. He is the Alpha and the Omega, after all. And he already knows that Jesus is a Good Guy, so he'll end up in Heaven with ease. How, exactly, is God "giving up" his son when as soon as J-Man dies, he'll be there with him? Isn't it more like having Jesus catch an earlier bus home?

2. Jesus suffers. His suffering is, from what I gather, integral in this whole "washing mankind clean of its sins" thing. So I've been wondering: there are people dying slowly in agony all over the planet by the thousands due to torture, disease, abuse ... for whose sins are THEY dying? If you think about it, there have been women in Sierra Leone and Darfur who were basically raped to death over a period of weeks. I kind of think that's worse than a quick 3-day crucifixion. Why doesn't their suffering count toward the sins of all mankind?

3. Hey, how about those aforementioned death-by-repeated-violation women - a whole lot of them had children. How is the death of a single man with no dependents for political reasons over three days somehow more laudable and noteworthy than the death of a woman with children for TANGENTIAL political reasons over a period of months?

4. Those are only examples. How about political dissidents in countries like China and Iran who are tortured for months and then executed? And more. And more.

Three lousy days, guaranteed to see your Dad when you're done? FUCK you. That's not suffering. That's a fucking picnic. With fire ants, but a picnic.

Hot hot planet

Ok. It's global CLIMATE CHANGE. And the fact that there haven't been many hurricanes blasting up the East Coast for the last couple of years should actually WORRY you, as it's a symptom of WEATHER SYSTEMS SHIFTING, which is a FUCKING GLOBAL THING.

Global Climate Change

Some of you may have heard from one news source or another that in Britain, a high court ruled that "An Inconvenient Truth," when screened as part of a lesson plan in secondary schools, must include certain caveats.

Some of YOU may have subsequently learned that the caveats are reasonable, and that the high court ALSO ruled that the film was, on the whole, scientifically sound.

Far less of you, though, have heard that the gentleman who brought the suit was financed by British companies who fund studies specifically to refute global warming. Like the American studies funded by people at Exxon/Mobil.

I think a lot of people hear "British high court" and think, "Ah ha! This is not an American or Middle-Eastern body, so it must not have anything to do with energy politics!" BZZT. You lose. Energy politics are more global than you think.

John Edwards

I heard John Edwards on the Jim Lehrer News Hour a couple of nights ago and I really liked pretty much everything he had to say. Weird. Then again, I only heard the last 15 minutes or so.

Yarrr.

Okay, Rush. If you didn't call troops who are vocal against the war "phony soldiers," then Kerry didn't call the men overseas stupid. I'd be willing to go with "taken out of context" even for a bloviating shitbag like you, if you didn't make your CAREER out of taking other people's words out of context.

I wish I could grow a scrotum so I could deny you the opportunity to lick it.

Pelosi sucks.

TSIA

Jon Stewart

So let me get this straight:
Jon Stewart is a comedian. Jon Stewart is not a journalist. Jon Stewart will be the first one to agree that he is a comedian on a comedy channel, and NOT a journalist on a news channel.
But because some people get their news from The Daily Show (while understanding that it is comedy and not news), Jon Stewart should be holding himself and his staff to some sort of journalistic standard.

*smashes head repeatedly against wall, becomes more brain-damaged, somehow feels smarter*

War on Drugs

When's the last time you heard of a bunch of kids killing a bunch of other kids over.... beer money?

The economy's FINE!

Found on Fark, this article makes me want to scream. It sums up everything about why this supposedly BOOMING Bush economy really doesn't mean dick to those of us who are normal* people just living our day-to-day lives. There are a LOT of us who don't have much savings and who can't put much - if any - away. We don't invest in the market. The fluctuations of this, that and the other don't do anything much to our lifestyle. Gigantic profits on the S&P Index don't really do much to us.

Grocery prices do.

A gallon of milk is up to $4.50 here. That's $1.50 from about a year, year-and-a-half ago. 4 (minimum) gallons a week @+1.50... $24/month just in milk, EXTRA. Ethanol isn't the answer either, you assclowns.

ARGH.

* Demographically speaking

My Love/Hate Relationship

Chris Matthews is often a complete douchebag, but every so often he makes me have to adore him just the tiniest, dirtiest, nastiest little bit. Watch the clip here.

"Good question, Dick."

Aww, poor toasty politicians.

You know, Congress, the Legislative branch is not an elementary school classroom. I understand that most of you have all the emotional maturity of Flick* in "A Christmas Story," but it really, really isn't. The President isn't your teacher. He's not in authority over y'all - or at least, no more than Y'ALL are over HIM.

In elementary school, the teacher says, "Finish your classwork or you don't get to go out for recess," and the kids whine and groan and finish... because what kid wants to miss recess?

In the LEGISLATURE, the President says, "Pass these bills or you can't leave," and the kids whine and groan and... DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS BY VETTING EVERYTHING AND DEMANDING THEIR CONSTITUTIONALLY EQUAL SAY IN WHAT GETS PASSED. What they do NOT do is say "fuck it" and hammer everything through so they can start their vacations on time.

You know WHY? Because they're supposedly FUCKING GROWNUPS, that's why.

* Kid's far more honest than y'all ... he went on to do porn. You know what you're getting with porn, by god.

Texas legislature sucks.

Yeah, ok, there's no reason to be LOUD and OBNOXIOUS about being atheist because in this day and age there's no discrimination, right? RIGHT?

"Personally, I felt like the Texas pledge had a big old hole in it, and it occurred to me, 'You know what? We need to fix that,' " said Riddle, R-Tomball. "Our Texas pledge is perfectly OK like it is with the exception of acknowledging that just as we are one nation under God, we are one state under God as well."

By law, students who object to saying the pledge or making the reference to God can bring a written note from home excusing them from participating.

And I'm sure none of those kids will be made to feel the slightest bit of stigma from other kids who think it's just dandy that in two-thousand-fucking-seven their state government put acknowledgement - and dominion - of their particular cotton-candy sky-fairy in the fucking state Pledge of Allegiance.

FUCKERS.

Well, the Senate voted on the FISA extension yesterday, and they fucking folded, and we know all that, but I went to the Senate site and even though it says

Results of roll call votes are published here approximately an hour after they have been announced.

...there is nothing there about the vote yet. I want to know if I have to write any Strongly Worded Letters to my reps. I'm pretty sure I have to send at least one...ARGH.

Virginia is for DANGEROUS DRIVERS!

Hey, a Henrico district judge (that's where I live, yay!) struck down Virginia's tax-tickets (up to $3000 extra fine for Virginia citizens) as violating equal protection under the law. As he said, there's no difference between a 'dangerous' Virginia driver and a 'dangerous' out-of-state driver, so they can't have vastly different judgements for the same crime.

Right, so, maybe now that there's SOME logic being thrown around, we can get to where drug dealers are serving LESS time than murderers and rapists?

"I'm not a feminist!"

You know what, lady? FUCK you if you have your own newspaper column/radio show and you say "feminism never did anything for [you]." Fuck you sideways, and you don't get an abortion, either. NOT YOURS. No, no one in particular.

"Islamophobia"

Watched this set of "Paula Zahn Now" clips on onegoodmove.org. I have a sick sense of humor, and found it hilarious that Doug "Ibrahim" Hooper said he was not neither defensive!! - And then tried to shout down Christopher "Fuck You" Hitchens every time he spoke.

Sure, bubbeh. You're not defensive.

Here we go.

I've set this up so I can rant incoherently about atheism and politics without subjecting my normal Intarwebz crew to a lot of shrill crap. I'll copy a few posts from LJ over here so there's a sense of flow. Like a heavy period, only tampons won't help.